Whether it's a family member, friend, or colleague, we've all had that one person in our lives who loves to put us down, and it can be tough to deal with; here's a list of 7 best tips to stand up to someone who's always putting you down.
Standing up for yourself doesn't mean getting into a physical altercation but rather telling the person that you don't appreciate their behavior and — if possible politely — asking them to stop.
With that being said, you don't have to take being constantly put down, so if this is something that's been bothering you for a while, these tips will help you stand up to all the people who are constantly putting you down and finally start getting the respect you deserve.
Here are 7 best tips that will help you stand up to people who are constantly putting you down:
1. Stand up for yourself.
One of the best ways to stand up to someone constantly putting you down is to simply start standing up for yourself; although obvious, it's very scary at first, but it gets easier with practice.
Don't let them take advantage and walk all over you; if you don't stand up for yourself, nobody else will, and the person putting you down will continue to do so because they think it's okay and can get away with it.
2. Have confidence and believe in yourself.
Having confidence and believing in yourself is key when standing up to someone putting you down; otherwise, you'll crumble under pressure, and they'll sense your lack of confidence and belief which will only give them more power over you.
The best way to build confidence is by practicing what you'll say in your head beforehand or, even better, writing it down. This way, when the time comes, you'll know exactly what to say, and you won't be as nervous because you've already gone over it in your head a million times.
And as for believing in yourself, that comes from within; you need to know that you're a strong person capable of standing up to anyone or anything. Positive affirmations are short yet powerful statements that you repeat to yourself on a daily basis and are a great way to increase belief in yourself.
Some examples of positive affirmations that can help you stand up to people constantly putting you down are "I am strong and capable" or "I am worthy of respect".
With that being said, the key is to have confidence and belief in yourself and what you're saying; even if your voice is shaking, as long as you have both, the person putting you down will see it, and they'll start to back down.
Remember that you're worth just as much as anyone else, and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.
3. Know your worth — you deserve to be respected and treated with kindness.
This is probably the most important tip of all; knowing your worth. If you're constantly being put down, it can be easy to start believing the things that they're saying about you.
But, no one else's opinion of you matters because you are the only one who gets to decide your worth. If you don't believe you're worthy of respect or feel like you don't deserve to be treated kindly, that's exactly how people will treat you.
You're in control of your happiness, so don't let anyone have power over you or your emotions. If you find yourself constantly being put down by others, it's time to reassess your relationships and determine which ones are worth keeping and which ones need to go.
4. Don't react and stay calm — reacting will only give them what they want.
If someone constantly puts you down, it can be tempting to lash out when someone says something hurtful, but it's important to stay calm and avoid reacting. Reacting will only escalate the situation and give them what they want – to see you get angry and upset.
The best thing to do is to respond with kindness and understanding to diffuse the situation and remain calm and collected to handle the situation better and respond in a way that doesn't give them the satisfaction they're looking for.
If you find yourself unable to remain calm and feel like you might lash out, it's best to walk away from the situation. Unfortunately, walking away is not always an option; in that case, take deep breaths until you've had time to calm down, collect your thoughts and respond rationally.
5. Talk to the person privately — this will give you a chance to talk about how their words are affecting you.
Talking to the person privately is a great way to have a constructive conversation — so that they don't feel defensive and can't use the excuse that they were just joking around — about how their words are affecting you without causing a scene.
When you're talking to the person, let them know that their words are hurtful and not acceptable, and avoid getting defensive or attacking them; to prevent coming across as confrontational or aggressive.
Focus on expressing how their words make you feel and why you don't appreciate their behavior and ask them to stop.
6. Set boundaries — let them know that you won't tolerate being treated badly.
If talking to the person about their behavior doesn't work or isn't possible, the next best way to stand up to them is to set boundaries; this mean that you need to be firm in your request for them to stop their behavior.
Let the person know that their words and behavior are unacceptable and that you won't tolerate being treated badly; this will help them understand that they need to change if they want to continue being a part of your life.
Follow through with your boundaries even if they apologize or say they'll change; if you do, they'll know they can get away with their behavior and continue treating you poorly.
Practice deep breathing and visualization beforehand; so that you're prepared for how they might react and you don't get caught off guard.
Like previously mentioned, when someone's constantly putting you down, it can be hard not to react, but the best thing you can do is to stay calm; losing your cool will only give them what they want and validate that their behavior is acceptable.
7. Distance yourself from or end the relationship — sometimes it's the best way to deal with someone who's constantly putting you down.
If setting boundaries with the person hasn't been working or hasn't been possible, depending on the severity of the situation and how much the person's words and behavior are affecting you, sometimes distancing yourself or ending the relationship is the best way to deal with them; because it takes away their power and control.
While this may not be an ideal solution, in some cases it may be necessary to protect yourself from further mental and emotional harm; it's always better to walk away from a situation than to stay and be treated poorly. After all, you don't need toxic people in your life who don't respect you or value your feelings.
If you decide to walk away, here are 10 tips to help do so with confidence and without looking back; this will show the person that you're not going to tolerate their behavior and that you're not going to let them get the best of you.
Next time someone tries to bring you down, use any or all of the above tips to handle the situation like a pro.
Have you tried any of these tips when standing up to someone who puts you down? Let us know in the comments below.