You can be the most confident person alive, but a traumatic event or series of events can cause you to lose all of your confidence. It is essential to your mental and physical well-being that you find ways to believe in yourself again, and here are 9 tips on how to do just that.
If you have lost your confidence, you probably don't believe in yourself anymore, which makes it difficult to do anything or even move forward in life. Hence, you feel like you are not good enough and will never be able to reach and accomplish your goals.
But the truth is, whether you like it or not, these negative thoughts are part of being human, everyone has them from time to time but the key is not to let them take over.
While rebuilding that belief in yourself can be tricky, it's the only way to get your life moving in the right direction again. So if you're ready to start, here are 9 tips to help you believe in yourself again.
Here are 9 tips that will help you believe in yourself again:
1. Acknowledge your feelings.
I've been there, and I get it. Accepting how you feel is hard — especially if you've been raised to believe emotions are bad — because accepting your emotions is accepting that perhaps something traumatic (small or big) happened to you.
But it's an essential part of the process if you want to start rebuilding your confidence and start believing in yourself again. Holding onto all that pain, numbness, and denial will continue to eat away at you and make it harder for you to heal.
Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. It's okay to not be okay for a while; take the time and space to deal with your emotions, whether that means crying it out, writing in a journal, or talking to a therapist.
2. And forgive yourself.
One of the main reasons why it's so difficult to believe in yourself again is because you're constantly beating yourself up for what happened.
After a traumatic event, we often beat ourselves up for not being able to handle it better, not being strong enough, or not seeing it coming. You keep replaying the event(s) over and over in your head and wishing you could have done something different.
The first step to forgiving yourself is acknowledging you are only human and you did the best you could at the time, given the circumstances. If you could have done something different, you would have.
And second, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes — even if those mistakes lead to a traumatic event — and that your mistakes do not define you. Let go of all that self-blame and self-hatred and start making peace with yourself.
It's easier said than done which is why these 9 tips that will help you stop punishing yourself so that you can finally start forgiving yourself.
3. Take care of yourself.
After a traumatic event, it's easy to fall into the trap of neglecting your own needs as you try to cope with what happened. But, to believe in yourself again, it needs to start with you; this means taking care of yourself emotionally and physically.
Eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep are all important factors in maintaining a positive self-image. Additionally, taking time for activities that make you happy — whether it's reading, spending time with friends, or taking up a new hobby — can help improve your mental well-being.
It might seem like a lot at first, but taking care of yourself is essential to healing. Not only will it help your mind and body heal, but it will also give you the strength and energy you need to start rebuilding belief.
If you're finding it difficult to find the strength to help you keep going, these 9 tips will help you get started.
4. Take small steps one day at a time — just make sure you're moving forward.
One of the most discouraging things about trauma is that it can make you feel like you're never going to be able to get your life back because your emotions are too overwhelming.
The thought of reliving the trauma repeatedly in therapy or just in your head can be so discouraging that it's tempting to give up before you even start.
After a traumatic event, it can feel like the ground has been pulled from beneath your feet and that you're just flailing around trying to find something to hold on to.
The prospect of taking on anything new or even leaving the house can be daunting, so it's important to take things slow and steady.
You might not be able to change what happened in the past, but you can control how you react to it and what you do from here on out.
The key is to take things one day at a time and focus on taking small steps moving forward; start with small steps that will help you move forward and work your way up.
You don't have to have it all figured out, and you don't have to do everything at once; focus on today and what you can do today to make tomorrow a little bit easier.
5. Set realistic goals.
Losing belief in yourself can lead to feeling lost and hopeless about the future, which causes you to give up on your dreams and goals altogether because they seem so out of reach.
Part of rebuilding self-belief after a traumatic event is setting goals, but to set realistic goals, you need to first assess what you're realistically capable of achieving. This means being honest with yourself about your emotional and physical limitations and taking into account how much energy you have to put towards your goals.
For example, if you've never been a morning person, setting the goal of getting up at 5 am every day is probably not going to be realistic or sustainable. But, if you set the goal of getting up 30 minutes earlier each day, that's a much more achievable goal that will still get you moving in the right direction.
Building up your confidence and self-belief takes time, but by setting realistic goals, you can give yourself a sense of accomplishment and prove to yourself that you are capable of achieving great things.
Start by brainstorming a list of things you want to accomplish in the short-term and long-term. Then, look at your list and determine which goals are realistic and which need to be put on hold.
And remember, even if you don't achieve your goal the first few tries — keep trying and adjust your approach as needed until you find a method that works for you.
As you gain more confidence and start believing in yourself again, you might find that you're able to take on more than you originally thought.
6. Don't compare yourself to others — focus on being the best version of yourself.
Studies have shown that when you compare yourself to others who are better off (or appear to be) than you are, it leads you to feel worse about your own circumstances. As a result, therapists encourage people to stop comparing themselves.
It's easy to get caught up in comparison, especially in today's social media-driven world, where we are constantly bombarded with other people's highlight reels.
But the thing is, we are all on our journey, and we are all at different stages in life. So, instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on being the best version of yourself, and don't worry about what everyone else is doing.
Work on improving yourself one day at a time because you are on your own path and will get there in your own time.
If you have trouble dealing with FOMO, here are 14 tips to help you deal with it because if you let it interfere and get in the way it can be very detrimental to your mental health.
7. Believe in your abilities and focus on your strengths.
Yes, you might have some weaknesses, but so does everyone else — the key is to focus on what you're good at and use that to your advantage.
Think about the things you're proud of that you've accomplished in your life and use that to fuel your confidence because you have so much to offer and are capable of great thing.
Just because one area of your life isn't going the way you want it to doesn't mean that everything is falling apart — focus on the positive and build from there. It's only when you start believing in your abilities that you will be able to tap into your true potential.
8. Get rid of toxic people and situations in your life.
Toxic people and situations can bring you down, make you doubt yourself, and fuel your insecurities. So, getting rid of anyone and anything dragging you down and preventing you from moving forward is important.
Avoid people and situations that make you feel bad about yourself or that trigger your insecurities. With that being said, cutting ties with toxic people might not be easy, but it's necessary if you want to start rebuilding your self-belief.
It's not always possible to eliminate all toxic people and situations from your life, but by making an effort to stand up — with the help of these 7 tips — and distance yourself from them, you can start creating a more positive environment for yourself.
9. Take your time.
Healing takes time; there is no magical formula that will make everything better overnight.
Listen to your body and allow yourself to take the time you need to recover and heal both physically and mentally.
Just because things aren't happening as quickly as you want them to doesn't mean you're not making progress — trust the process and have faith.
By following the above tips, you can start rebuilding your self-belief and start moving forward in life.
With that being said, don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. There's no shame in admitting that you need a little assistance — everyone needs help from time to time and asking is a sign of strength, not weakness.
What are some ways that work best for you to increase your confidence? Try out a few of these techniques and see which ones give you the most positive results.