May 24, 2022 7:05 am

Celine

You've finally had enough! You're done with the drama, the manipulation, and the constant feeling that you're never good enough. You've cut ties with your narcissistic ex-friend, and you're feeling better already. But now what? How do you deal with a narcissist ex-friend, especially if you were friends for a long time?

How Do I Deal With a Narcissist Ex-Friend

Narcissists can be difficult to deal with, especially if you have been friends for a long time.

Fortunately, there are several things to keep in mind when dealing with a narcissistic ex-friend and tips to solve those issues.

13 Tips For Dealing With A Narcissistic Ex-Friend

Here are 13 tips to keep in mind when dealing with a narcissistic ex-friend:

1. Remember that it's not about you. 

A narcissist's main goal is to feel superior and in control; it's about their need for attention and admiration, and they will often take it from whoever is closest to them, even if that person is supposed to be a friend.

So when you end the friendship, it'll be all about how you're the one to blame. They'll try to make you feel guilty, or like you're the one who did something wrong.

2. Don't feel guilty. 

It's natural to feel some guilt when ending a friendship, especially if you were friends for a long time but don't let the narcissist guilt you into staying in the friendship.

They will try to make you feel guilty or like you're the one who did something wrong, but remember, it's not about you.

Narcissists will always try to make themselves look and feel good, no matter who they must step on to do it.

3. Don't take their bait. 

Narcissists are masters at manipulation. They'll say anything to get a reaction out of you or to get you back into the friendship, especially if they see that you're happy without them.

They may start rumors about you or say hurtful things but don't take the bait, ignore their attempts to provoke you, and don't respond to their provocations.
It's not worth getting into a fight with them; it'll only give them the attention they crave.

4. Set boundaries. 

If you have to see your narcissist ex-friend on a regular basis, it's important to set boundaries.

Make it clear what you will and will not tolerate from them. For example, you might say, "I'm willing to talk to you, but I don't want to hear any put-downs or criticisms."

If they don't listen or respect your boundaries, then you may need to take more extreme measures, such as blocking their number or changing your number altogether.

5. Don't get sucked back in. 

It can be easy to get sucked back into the drama; that's what narcissists are good for.

They'll often try anything to get you back into the friendship; they may apologize for their behavior or make you feel sorry for them, but don't fall for it.

If they are sorry, they need to take responsibility for their actions and make changes. Otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for more hurt and pain.

6. Keep your communication short and to the point.

Narcissists love to hear themselves speak, and they'll use any opportunity to do so, so when you have to communicate with them, keep your communication short and to the point.

Don't give them any ammunition to use against you or try to manipulate you. For example, "I'm returning your jacket" or "I need my keys back." There's no need to engage in small talk or make pleasantries, just state what you need to and move on.

7. Don't try to reason with them. 

It can be tempting to try to reason with a narcissist ex-friend or get them to see your point of view, but it's important to remember that this will only lead to more drama as narcissists don't think like everyone else.

The best thing you can do is not engage in small talk or get drawn into long conversations and focus on your own life.

8. Don't take it personally.

A narcissist ex-friend will not change, no matter what you do, so don't take their behavior or anything they say personally.

It's important to remember that their behavior reflects their insecurity and self-esteem issues.

9. Avoid contact as much as possible. 

It's important to keep your distance from a narcissist, physically and emotionally, and not give them the satisfaction of knowing that they still affect you.

If you can, avoid situations where you'll have to see or interact with them. And if you have to be in the same room as them, try to keep your distance by not engaging in conversations with them.

It might be difficult at first, but eventually, they will get the message and leave you alone.

10. Block them.

If you can't or don't want to avoid contact with them altogether, the next best thing is to block them on social media so they can't get a hold of you.

Don't engage with them on social media, don't take their calls, and don't respond to their texts. If they show up at your door, don't answer it. This will help limit their ability to see what you're doing and to try to engage with you.

You don't need someone in your life who will bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself.

If they try to contact you, be firm and remind them that you don't want to have any contact with them. After all, you want to move on and focus on your wellbeing.

11. Keep yourself busy.

It's important to keep yourself busy after ending a friendship with a narcissist because, having too much free time, you'll find yourself thinking about them and their actions.

The more you focus on your life, the less time you'll have to think about them. So, make sure to fill your time with positive activities that make you happy.

Whether taking up a new hobby, going out with friends, or spending time with family, make sure to do things that make you happy and keep you busy.

12. Focus on your wellbeing.

A narcissist ex-friend is not worth your time or energy, so stop trying to please them or win their approval. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and doing things that make you happy.

Do things that make you feel good, spend time with people who make you feel good, and don't look back.

13. Seek professional help if needed. 

If you're finding it difficult to cope with a narcissistic ex-friend, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you deal with your emotions and the fallout from the friendship.

They can also help you develop healthy coping mechanisms and boundaries. If you feel like you're struggling, don't be afraid to reach out for help.

It can be difficult to deal with a narcissist ex-friend, but it's important to remember that their behavior reflects their insecurity and self-esteem issues.

The best thing you can do is set boundaries, keep your communication short and to the point, and avoid contact as much as possible. If you struggle to deal with the situation, seek professional help.

About the Author

A 25-year-old Muslim woman navigating self-improvement, so that you to can be the best version of yourself!

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