ResourceWork & Money
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome: A Guide for Women
Why so many capable women feel like frauds, and how to tell the difference between self-doubt and a room that keeps doubting you.
You got the job, the promotion or the client. Everyone around you seems sure you earned it. You are the only one waiting for someone to tap you on the shoulder and say there has been a mistake.
That feeling has a name: imposter syndrome. It is the persistent sense that your success is down to luck, timing or a misunderstanding, and that sooner or later you will be found out.
It is common, it is not a character flaw, and it can get much quieter. Here is how.
What Imposter Syndrome Feels Like
Imposter syndrome is not a medical diagnosis. It is a pattern of thinking, and it tends to show up in the same few ways:
- Putting your success down to luck, good timing or other people's help.
- Preparing far more than anyone else, because you believe hard work is the only thing hiding how little you know.
- Brushing off praise with "it was nothing" or "anyone could have done it".
- Holding back in meetings in case your question gives you away.
- Feeling that every new role is the one where you will finally be caught out.
The cruel twist is that success never seems to help. Each win becomes one more thing you have to keep fooling people about.
Why It Hits Women So Hard
Imposter syndrome was first described in 1978 by the psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, in a study of high achieving women. Decades later, it has not gone anywhere. In a KPMG survey of executive women at Fortune 1000 companies, 75 percent said they had experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their careers.
Some of that is how many of us were raised. Girls are often praised for being good and careful rather than bold, so a mistake can feel like proof of something instead of part of learning.
But a lot of it is the room. Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey have argued that the label puts the blame on women for feelings that biased workplaces create. If you are the only woman at the table, if your ideas get credited to someone else, or if you keep being asked whether you are sure in a way your male colleagues are not, feeling out of place is not a distortion. It is a reasonable reading of the situation.
That difference matters, because the fixes are different. Self-doubt is something you can work on. A workplace that keeps doubting you is a different problem, and it is not yours to solve alone.
“Feeling like a fraud is not evidence that you are one.”
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
You will not argue yourself out of it in one go. You can make it quieter, a little at a time.
Keep an evidence file. Every time you finish something, solve a problem or get a thank you, write it down. It is the same running list you would use when you ask for a promotion, and it gives the fraud voice something to argue with.
Separate the feeling from the facts. Feeling like a fraud is not evidence that you are one. When the thought shows up, ask what the actual evidence says. Usually it says you were hired, kept and trusted for a reason.
Say it out loud to someone you trust. Imposter syndrome grows in silence. The moment you tell a friend or mentor, you will often find out they feel it too.
Take the compliment. Next time someone praises your work, say thank you and stop. No "it was nothing", no list of everyone else who helped.
Stop preparing for perfect. Prepare well, then go. Working twice as hard to cover a gap that does not exist is how imposter syndrome turns into burnout.
Check the room. If the feeling only shows up in one place, with one group or one manager, that tells you something. It may be the environment, not you.
And if it is the room, you are allowed to say so. Raise it with someone who has the power to change it, like a manager, a sponsor or HR. If nothing changes, it may be time to look for a team that values you. Leaving a place that keeps doubting you is not running away. It is choosing somewhere the evidence finally counts.
Is imposter syndrome a mental illness? No. It is not a clinical diagnosis. But it can sit alongside anxiety or depression, and if the self-doubt is affecting your sleep, your health or your ability to work, talking to a doctor or therapist is a good step.
Can men have imposter syndrome? Yes. Anyone can. It was first studied in women, and women often face extra pressures that feed it, but it is not a women only experience.
What if I really am not ready? Then that is a skill gap, not imposter syndrome, and skill gaps can be closed. The difference is specific versus vague. "I have never run a budget" is something you can learn. "I am not good enough" is not a fact you can act on.
Does imposter syndrome ever go away? For many people it never fully disappears, but it gets much quieter. It often comes back with each new step up. That is usually a sign you are growing, not that you are failing.
What to Say to Yourself, and Out Loud
New thoughts need new words. Try these until they feel natural.
In your head
When you get the job
"They had other options. They chose me for a reason."
When you make a mistake
"This is one mistake, not proof of anything."
When you feel out of your depth
"I do not need to know everything. I need to know what to ask."
Out loud
When someone praises your work
"Thank you. I am really proud of how it turned out."
When you want to speak up
"I have a different view on this."
When you need help
"I have not done this before. Can you walk me through how you would approach it?"
Pick the one that scares you most. That is usually the one you need.
Final Thoughts
You did not get here by accident. You might still feel like you did, and that is fine. The feeling can come along. It just does not get to make the decisions.
